inefficiency | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ SO UM

YOUR DOOR JUST GOT BROKEN DOWN BY THIS REALLY APOLOGETIC PERSON ]

-- oh shit, sorry.

If it makes you feel any better, it was delicious.

. . . my goat . . .

Very tender, yet flavorful. It was certainly a fine specimen. You should be proud to have once owned such an excellent goat.

[ but ok tries to punch you in the fucking face ]

[BUT

DISAPPEARS???

and reappears behind you]

Hm? Really?

I really loved that goat.

[ NOT TOO PERTURBED BY THAT TBH just spinkicks ]

[JUMPS OVER THAT

and attempts to brain you with her parasol]

Yeah, I loved it too!

[ RAISE HANDS TO BLOCK PARASOL!? ]

It's rude to eat other people's hardwork.

[HOW STRONG ARE YOU, BECAUSE IF YOU'RE A NORMAL PERSON THAT MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY YOUR ARM but otherwise will just hurt I guess oops]

Letting it wander off like that, were you really caring for it at all?

[ IM A SUPER SOLDIER!1 but o////o oh that is unexpected ]

There is something called free-range!

[WELL IT WAS UNEXPECTED FOR ME TOO

but how about when i try to shank you with the sharp tip]

If you let your livestock run free, you can't complain if a few fall to the wolves!

Woah -- [ tries to avoid that but will get grazed ] Are you saying you're a wolf?

[STEPS BACK

just sort of watching and waiting for the next move]

There are worse beasts in the woods than wolves, you know.

I'm not into canines, that's all.

[ settles back in a loose but ready stance. ]

I don't suppose you'd just get me another goat?

I don't suppose you'll get me another door?

. . .

Uh. I can . . . try to fix it?

[... okay

we'll wait]

[ . . . picking up door pieces. . .

. . . ]

Do you have any nails?

[oh my god]

Hm. I do.

[...]

That would definitely make this easier if you did.

[ . . . ]

Not breaking my door in the first place also would have made things easier, it seems to me.

You took my goat.

It wandered in here of its own free will and offered itself to me. The goat was asking for it. It wanted to be eaten by me.

[ lunges at. . . ]

[SHANK ATTEMPT]